


truth runs wild

by snokoplazm



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 05:45:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17698769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snokoplazm/pseuds/snokoplazm
Summary: it's the 80's, dan is a bartender and phil is unhappily married. they're in love.





	truth runs wild

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from heaven, by troye sivan

His heart skips a beat every time Phil approaches. He remembers he used to wonder when it would stop doing that. It's annoying til’ you get used to it, he guesses. At this point he just lets it be and tries his best for his eyes not to stare.

“The usual, Phil?”

Phil hangs his jacket on the back of a chair first, then pulls it out and sits. He sighs loudly.

“Yes, please,” he says. Because even when he's tired he wouldn't forgive himself for not being nice. Dan knows.

He pulls out the coconut rum from behind him and goes to grab the pineapple juice and coconut cream. Phil is a sweet kind of guy, in every way. Dan would prepare him every pina colada he asked for for the rest of his life. He would.

Once it's done, he pours the drink slowly in front of Phil. He pretends not to watch him run a hand through his quiff, loosen up his tie. Dan gulps. He puts a cherry on top, nervously licks his lips in a way he is sure isn't good looking. He pushes the cup towards Phil and Phil grabs it carefully in his hand, his eyes tired as he looks at him.

“Long day at work?” He asks, his throat feeling too tight and his cheeks too hot.

Phil smiles a crooked, lazy smile. One that crinkles the corners of his eyes, but not too much, just enough to make Dan's insides feel funny and ache at the same time.

“Long life, Dan.”

His smile gets smaller in a sad way. The kind of smile it feels wrong to look at.

“What's wrong, Phil?”

Phil lifts his eyebrows and clicks his tongue. Dan appreciates even the wrinkles on his forehead.

“Everything, all the time, you know that.” It makes Dan smile sadly, maybe at Phil. Maybe at life, at the situation, he's not sure.

“I mean today, genius.”

He doesn't answer. He takes a big sip of his drink instead.

“No one else could make pina coladas this good. No one,” Phil says as he leaves the cup on the bar. His fingers make lines on the cold water clinging to it.

“Phil, that doesn't really answer my question.”

Dan rests his elbows on the bar and in them all of his weight. His hands stay together in front of him and try their best to not do anything stupid.

“But it _does_. That's exactly what's wrong.”

Somehow, Dan perfectly understands.

They are quiet for a second. Their hands are close, so close that Dan can reach his pinky enough to carefully rub Phil's, and Phil doesn't move.

Dan stares at the floor, Phil stares at their hands. It takes a moment, sometimes.

“ _This. This_ is not wrong, Phil. This is not wrong.”

The expression on Phil's face is suddenly painful, and he lays his forehead on his hand. He closes his eyes.

“I am married,” he whispers.

Dan studies Phil carefully. Thinks of the way he could easily pull his tie undone right now (in a fantasy world where gay men don't just die, where they don't have to worry about people looking), thinks of running his hands through that damn ginger quiff the way Phil always does when he's stressed. He could do it for him. He could pull his glasses up for him, could pull out the gray hairs, could… He _could_ …

“You're here right now,” Dan whispers back at him. _With me._

Phil looks up. His hand lets go of his head and goes to rest on the bar.

“Dan,” he giggles. “ _That_ is so wrong.”

They giggle together for a while. Dan thinks it's perfect, even though he is sure they are both giggling at very different things.

Phil is perfect, and this is the billionth time he wishes he could do something about it. Today Dan realises he will wish his life away until he actually does something. It's like something in his mind clicks, and today is the day, suddenly.

It takes courage to even exist, him being these ways he is. It takes all of him to come close, his lips graze Phil's ear carefully and he feels him tense before he whispers:

“Leave your wife.”

He waits to hear Phil's voice for a few seconds. Then,

“What?”

It feels dirty, but not wrong, and he learns there is a difference between those. He wouldn't dare look at Phil, at _anyone_ in the eyes when he says it.

“Leave her for me.”

Then he pulls apart. He looks everywhere in a bar too crowded for anyone to even care about the bartender and the man drinking. When he is sure no one is watching, his hand carefully lands on top of Phil's.

“I’ll make you all the pina coladas you want. Let's run away.”

Never in all these months has he seen this expression on Phil's face. So surprised, so not unhappy.

“Dan… We can't do that. I can't.”

“We can, we can get up and leave right now.”

“You are not thinking this through. Where would we go? What will we do?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes!” Phil says. “It all matters.”

“Are you actually saying no, though?”

He's shocked when Phil actually seems to think about it, his eyebrows creasing as he looks down at his drink.

“Dan, you know I don't actually drink, right?”  

“Mate, you're drinking right now.”

“Never do outside this place, though. You really think I keep coming back for the pina coladas? Sure, the first time I wanted one but that was the first time. I want you. You know that. I've wanted you for what feels like my whole life. A little lifetime of wanting only you, Dan.”

Phil nods his head slowly as if agreeing with himself, and Dan's throat is tied in a big knot which he can't seem to swallow away.

“Phil, I…” There are tears in his eyes he can't blink away. How long has he wanted this, exactly?

“We’ll get the hell out of here, Dan. We will, just not tonight.”

He squeezes Dan's hand.

“You promise? We're actually doing it?”

Phil's pinky rises, and it hooks with Dan's easily.

They can stay like this for a while.

“I promise.”


End file.
